Alliance
by L.D. Eddy
Summary: Sometimes its not easy working together. Sometimes it's downright amusing. In which Dead Switch, a product of SwordStitcher's mind, meets Reaper, a product of my mind, and all sorts of craziness ensues.
1. Chapter 1

Clarice sighed and rubbed her head, just knowing she was getting a headache. "Why are we working with Edward again?"

"Clarice," Jonathan said her name in warning.

"I mean, was last time not enough?"

"Clarice, he's-"

"Smart, yeah, I get that. Everybody knows that. Seriously, though. Are you a glutton for punishment? Last time I almost died."

"You won't be working alone this time."

"I am not going to be a bodyguard for the both of- wait, what?"

"You're not working alone. He has-"

"You're not talking about those idiots Mannie and Zowie, are you? They're the ones that almost killed me. Do you know how embarrassing it is that Batman had to save me?"

"You're alive."

"That's because Batman managed to pull me out of the blast zone! I mean, seriously, do they have something against me or are they literally stupid enough to forget that I exist?"

"Knowing them?"

"Shut up, Jonathan, let me rant."

"You're lucky we're f-fri-ends," He stumbled over the f-word, still uncomfortable with acknowledging her as such. "If we weren't, I'd have to kill you for that."

"Knowing you, you'd still kill me."

"Really?"

"You've sprayed me with fear gas and left me to my nightmares. Or shall we forget that night when you created 'The Valley of Fear'?" Clarice rolled her eyes at the title he'd dubbed his favorite formula.

"That is still my best formula."

"And I was your lab rat, you ass."

"You have to admit, it was quite an advancement."

"And you have to admit that you're an asshole."

"Clarice, if you don't shut up, we may just have a repeat performance of what happens when you are dosed with my toxin."

"I hate you sometimes."

* * *

><p>Honestly, the first time Switch saw the Reaper and Scarecrow, she swore they were together. Well, really, they bickered like an old married couple.<p>

"Jonathan, where's my mask?"

"What do you mean, where's your mask, don't you have it?"

"I have my _gas _mask, but I told you to grab the one that goes over it. You know, the one that makes me look like the Reaper and not just some woman in a gas mask."

"I can assure you, Clarice, that you never told me to grab your mask."

"Jonathan, we were in your lab, we were packing up, my mask was next to yours and I asked you to grab it."

"I have my mask. I told you to grab your own damn mask."

"Holy shit," Switch muttered under her breath.

They went on for about fifteen minutes, arguing about whether or not she'd told him to grab her bloody mask.

And that was when Reaper turned to her.

"You! You and Edward were there with us, did I or did I not tell him to grab my mask?"

Judging by the glare on Scarecrow's face, Switch knew that if she agreed with Reaper she'd be gassed by the man.

Even though Reaper _had_ told him to grab her mask.

Switch did the only thing she could do.

She shrugged.

"I dunno."

"What do you mean you don't-" Reaper cut herself off and threw her hands in the air, as if surrendering. "I give up. I give up. Fine, I didn't tell you, whatever, you still should've grabbed it, it was right there."

Riddler gave Scarecrow a sympathetic look, as if saying: _Women. The most insufferable creatures on the planet._

They had relative peace for a few minutes.

"You let your employees speak to you like that, Jonathan?" Riddler asked.

And of course he had to butt his nose into others' business.

"I'm not an employee, Edward," Reaper said.

Switch wondered for a moment why _she_ was allowed to call him Edward, but she had to call him Riddler. At least to his face.

"So he calls you hired help, then?" Riddler asked. Reaper rolled her eyes, gave a suffering sigh and turned her head to Scarecrow and gestured to Riddler.

Scarecrow rubbed his hand over his eyes and turned to Riddler.

"She's not working for me, Edward. She works _with_ me, if only because she's insufferable and demands she's not an employee."

"Of course I'm not an employee, I'm your friend," Reaper snapped, grabbing an extra gas mask. She turned to Switch and wiggled it slightly before tossing it. Switch caught it, if only barely. Reaper had terrible aim. "Gonna need this, kiddo."

"I am _not_ a kid," Switch said indignantly. Reaper just rolled her eyes.

"A friend?" Riddler asked. Scarecrow turned and glared at Reaper.

"Yes," Jonathan said grudgingly.

"Are you two dating?" Switch asked. Reaper stiffened and one of her hands tightened over a canister of fear gas. Scarecrow eyed Reaper warily for a moment before glaring at Switch.

Maybe she should've waited until the crazies with the tendency to gas anything that crossed their path were away from their precious fear gas before she opened her mouth.

"I don't date," Reaper said slowly, a frosty anger coating her words.

Switch watched as Scarecrow hesitantly pat Reaper on the back.

"Still hung up on that security guard, I see. I don't see why. He's dead and buried," Riddler remarked, as if it was just as acceptable to say that to a dead man's loved one as it would be to comment on the weather.

Reaper quickly sucked in a breath before tossing the fear canister at Riddler and pulling her gas mask on.

Switch barely had enough to pull on the one she'd been tossed and Scarecrow glared while pulling his on, grabbing Riddler by the feet, and pulling him into the other room.

Switch flinched at the sound of Riddler's whimpers and screams, but for her own sake, decided not to launch herself at Reaper in an attack.

The two women stood there for a few seconds before Reaper looked at Switch.

"Let's get out of here, kid."

"I'm not a kid!"

"Whatever, Switch."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: So, this is a present for SwordStitcher! I told her I'd stick Switch in a story, and by George, I DID! And it was really fun. So hopefully I got Switch right and hopefully she enjoys it so far. More chapters coming up soon!**_


	2. Chapter 2

The first bar – a dive bar located where the Narrows met the rest of the city – was a bust, and quite frankly, Clarice wanted to bomb the place after they left.

Clarice plopped down on a bar stool and ran her hands through her hair in an effort to untangle her locks. "You old enough to drink, kiddo?" Clarice asked.

Switch rolled her eyes and sighed. "I am not a kid. And yeah."

"Good," Clarice said. She waved the bartender over and smiled at him.

"Anything I can get you, ladies?" He asked.

"White Russian," Switch said. Clarice turned to Switch and raised an eyebrow before turning back to the bartender.

"Surprise me," Clarice told him. He winked.

"I'll be right back." He walked away and Clarice rolled her eyes.

"I seriously want to punch him," She muttered. Switch nodded.

"Smarmy asshole."

He was back almost instantaneously.

"A White Russian for you," He said, passing the drink to Switch before turning to Clarice. "And for you," He placed the drink in front of Clarice and she took a sip.

She almost gagged.

"What is this?" She managed to choke out.

"It's a 'Dirty Redhead Slut'."

Clarice and Switch froze.

"_Excuse_ me?" Clarice snapped.

"I get out in an hour," He told her, managing to flex his muscles while he crossed his arms over his chest. She gripped the glass hard enough to turn her knuckles white.

In one swift movement, Clarice tossed the contents of her glass at the bartender before tossing the glass itself at him. Clarice grabbed her coat and started walking out of the bar.

"Charming," Switch deadpanned. She looked over at a candle – one of the many placed around the bar in order to please the female demographic. It hadn't worked to gain female customers, but it would do for Switch.

She grabbed the candle and looked at the bartender before smiling in a seemingly predatory way.

"Hey, kid, you coming?" She heard Reaper yell.

"I'm **not** a kid!" She yelled back. "Give me a minute!" She tossed the candle at the bartender and listened for a moment as he screamed like a pathetic little girl and, idiotically, tried to put himself out. With alcohol. "What a fucking moron," Switch muttered. She grabbed her drink and walked out of the bar to follow Clarice.

"What do you say to going to the Iceberg?" Clarice asked, turning to look at Switch.

"What's at the Iceberg?"

"People that are afraid of us and won't dare to mess with us?"

"Sounds good."

* * *

><p>"Well, well, well. What the 'ell are you two doing 'ere?" The unmistakable gruff tone of the Penguin's voice reached their ears. Clarice managed a smile for him.<p>

"Wanted to find somewhere to drink. In peace," Switch told him.

"Yeah, no asshole bartenders giving me 'Dirty Redhead Slut's," Clarice muttered.

"What'd she say?" Penguin asked.

"Oh, just-"

"Switch, say one more word and I rip your tongue out."

"Touchy."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: YAY! Another chapter for SwordStitcher!**_

_**Anyway, since she reviewed, here we go:**_

_SwordStitcher chapter 1 . Feb 7_

Oh my jebus this is so wonderful! I laughed the entire way through, especially at Eddie getting gassed, idiot deserved it. "she had to call him Riddler. At least to his face." That's just a genius statement. Makes it apparent she calls him anything but in the privacy of her own head xD Her character is perfect and I love it! Hopefully more, soon.

_**YAY! I make the funny! Of course he deserved it, bringing up Frank like that. The man has absolutely no tact. In my mind, I see Switch calling him all sorts of names, especially when she's hiding the trophies. YAY! I GOT HER RIGHT! Hopefully it's the same for this chapter and the next few chapters.**_


	3. Chapter 3

Later that night, after the bartender had cut them off, after a stop to what they'd thought was an art gallery, and after they had stolen some liquor from a gas station, the girls had taken their escapades to the street.

"Swish, whadr ya doin'?" Clarice slurred, looking at the younger woman.

"Shuddup," 'Swish' replied, trying to untie her shoe.

"Swiiiiish," Clarice moaned. "'m g'na throw up."

"Don' puke 'n me," Dead Switch managed to get her shoe off and giggled.

"C'mon," she said, grabbing Clarice's hand and dragging her down the street. They stopped in front of a jewelry store.

"Whadr ya-"

_**SMASH!**_

"Swiiiish!" Clarice whispered.

"I wan' some shiny stuff," Dead Switch said. She stumbled into the jewelry store and looked around.

"Ooh, shiny," Clarice murmured. She manged to get into the store by a combination of wiggling, climbing, and rolling before she could actually say that she was in the store.

"I wan' this, an' this, an' this," Switch proclaimed, grabbing random pieces of jewelry.

"Ooh, pretty!" Clarice said, grabbing a necklace. "Shiny. Precious."

"Wha'?" Switch asked, turning to look at her highly inebriated accomplice. She walked over and looked at the necklace before looking at the stand it had been on. "'Harlequin Diamond'. 'Rare'." She glared at it and snatched it from Clarice before chucking it at the ground.

"My pretty!" Clarice said sadly.

"I's Harley's!" Switch snapped angrily.

"Harley's?"

"Harley's."

"Harley's mean. Don' like 'er."

"Good."

"Don' like 'er boyfriend, either," Clarice said. Switch nodded in agreement. "We should kill 'em."

"Why?"

"Swish. Frank. Life," Clarice said, as if the three words were a sufficient enough explanation.

And apparently to Switch's drunken mind, they were.

* * *

><p>Armed with a shoe, a diamond necklace, and a half full canister of fear gas, Switch and Clarice stealthily made their way across Gotham to the last known hideout of the Jokers.<p>

Well, they thought they were stealthy.

Two drunks walking down an alley with a shoe, a diamond necklace, and fear gas can't exactly be quiet.

"Shuddup, Swish, we gosta be qi-qu-qe- we gosta hush!" Clarice said, lurching alongside Switch.

""m not the loud one, C'rice," Switch snapped. "Yer makin' th' noise."

"Shuddup, Swish."

Neither of them noticed the dark shadow that crossed their path.

Well, until it collided with them.

"Whadju, push me for?" Switch demanded.

"Nnnggg. Hurty," Clarice moaned, rolling over on the ground.

"Reaper and...Dead Switch?" The Dark Knight was puzzled. He hadn't heard of them teaming up, or even meeting before, and both of them weren't exactly in the best of shape at the moment.

"Oh great, 's Bondageman-" Switch mumbled. "No...No Batman! 'S Batman!" Switch corrected, looking up at the pointy-eared vigilante.

"Bondageman?" Clarice copied, popping her head up. "'S Bondageman!"

"No, s'upid, 's _Bat_man."

"Batman? Batman sucks!"

Batman sighed before reaching for some handcuffs on his belt.

"Take tha'!" Switch yelled, launching her shoe at Batman. It landed two feet shy of the crusader. "C'rice, the gas!"

"I don' gost none," Clarice said.

"The scary gas!"

"Scary gas?"

"Scary gas!"

"Scary gas!" Clarice reached into her jacket pocket and threw the canister at Batman's feet.

Of course, the two drunks forgot that he carried a compact gas mask with him and neither of them had kept theirs.

Once the two women started to whimper, Batman sighed and picked them up before plopping them into the Batmobile.

It was off to Arkham with them.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Yay! More chapters for Alliance! And more drunken buffoonery for the girls.**_

_**SwordStitcher:**_

_**Clarice has no patience for scummy dudes hitting on her. Unless its Frank **__**Boles. Then she always has patience. Ozzy doesn't like them because Switch "is a woman able to bypass all his security measures hanging around with a woman who lives to make chemical warfare an art." Lol. **__**I think Clarice is **__**slightly**__** more drunk than Dead Switch. By about a mile. Clarice doesn't like her personal life being the common knowledge of the people. Especially Oswald who sells information to the Riddler on a regular basis.**_

_**Bat-teen 28:**_

_**Yay! It's actually really awesome because I've been consulting SwordStitcher about the character and she's helped develop the story a lot. Yay! You guys like Reaper! It's interesting because Switch is in her early twenties, Reaper is in her late twenties, and I believe Jester is in her late teens. It would be interesting to see them in a G.N.O. Anyway, here's the next chapter!**_


	4. Chapter 4

Clarice groaned as she lifted her head and blinked. Where the hell was she?

"Uuggh," her mouth tasted of vomit and booze and her head ached like you wouldn't believe. "What the hell happened last night?"

"Shut up!" She heard a grumpy voice snap at her from her left.

"Dead Switch?" Clarice asked.

"Shut. Up. Reaper."

"What the hell did we do last night?" Clarice asked.

"Clarice, shut up." Clarice sighed and flopped back on her cot before stretching. And noticing something alarmingly green.

"Switch! Why is there a tattoo of a question mark on my wrist?"  
>"Stop yelling, you're killing my head!" Switch snapped.<br>"I'm not yelling. I'm asking a question."  
>"You're yelling."<br>"You're hungover."  
>"And you're not?" Switch asked.<br>"Good point."  
>"When the hell did we even make a stop to a tattoo parlor?" Switch asked.<br>"Do you think that was that weird art gallery we went to?" Clarice asked.  
>"Now that you mention it, I saw a ton of tatted up guys there."<br>"Fabulous. Did you get any tattoos?"  
>"Um..Shit! Yeah." Uh oh. That didn't sound too good.<br>"Well, what was it?"  
>"No."<br>"No, what?"  
>"No, I'm not telling you."<br>"Switch!"  
>"No!"<br>It turns out the tattoo artist had given her a tramp stamp. Of a penguin.

"It was your idea wasn't it?" Switch demanded.  
>"What? What was my idea?"<p>

"The damn tattoo parlour!"  
>"Look, kid, I'm sure it'll come off with some laser surgery."<br>"No-one comes near me with lasers! Besides, who's idea was it to do shots for every rogue fan we saw at the bloody Iceberg Lounge? And I'm not a kid!"  
>"Oh god, did we?"<p>

"Yes!"

"Why are we so stupid?"

"Who said anything about a 'we'?"

"Fine, you."

"Wha- How is this my bloody fault?"

"I'm not sure yet. Give me some time and I think I'll figure it out."

* * *

><p>"Have fun last night, Dead Switch?" Cash asked. Switch's eyes narrowed.<p>

"What do you mean?" Switch asked.

"Everybody knows." Switch paled. How could everybody know about the tattoo?

"Knows what?"

"You and Reaper went on a drunken rampage last night. Or do you not remember?" Cash asked. Switch glared at him. "Bet you'll have fun talking to the doc about it."

"Shut up, Cash."

* * *

><p>"Have you seen the newspapers this morning, Jonathan?" Edward asked, looking over at his accomplice. Jonathan looked up from his notes and shook his head.<p>

"No. What about them?" He asked. Edward started to chuckle.

"Oh, you're going to want to see this." Edward passed Jonathan a newspaper and watched as his face contorted into an expression of pure defeat.

The headline?

_** Henchgirls' Drunken Rampage in Gotham**_

The article summarized an evening of pure stupidity. The girls had set a bartender on fire, gotten drunk, gotten tattoos, gotten even drunker – if that was even possible – broke into a jewelry store, and got into a fight with the Batman. They were currently in Arkham, getting over their hangovers.

Jonathan glared at the newspaper. He hoped the staff at Arkham made their hangovers the most miserable moments of their lives.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:**_

_**Hahaha. This has been so much fun to write. Just wait until the boys get them out of there. They're gonna have hell to pay.**_

_**Anywayyy:**_

_**SwordStitcher:**_

_**Yay! I'm so happy that you love this story! It has been so fun to write so far. They are definitely just as bad as each other, of course, this just cements the fact that they are just going to be perfect friends that laugh at each other when they fail and fall. And the scary gas part was just so much fun to write. The same with the whole Bondageman part, lol.**_


	5. Chapter 5

Switch glared at the doctor and crossed her arms – well, as well as she could with the chain cuffs around her wrists.

"No," She snapped. Her doctor sighed irritably and wrote something down in his notes.

"Really, Deborah, it's alright to talk abou-"

"I _said_ no."

"Really, Deborah, we should discuss this. We need to have an open dialogue in order to help you progress. Discussing the underlying connotations of your newly acquired tattoo would help."

"Speak of it, and I will rip your throat out, _Doctor_."

"Deborah, ple-" Switch tried to launch herself at the doctor but was restrained by the chains.

"Cash, bring her to solitary. Maybe a stay there will help loosen her tongue."

* * *

><p>"Now, Clarice, why did you get a question mark on your wrist?" Her doctor asked.<p>

"I was drunk."

The doctor continued to talk as if Clarice wasn't in the room. "Is this a way for you to symbolize your attachment to the Riddler?"

"Wha- God, no! No."

"Do you and Riddler have a romantic relationship, Clarice?"  
>"Truly, Doctor? Are you really this stupid? I am not involved with the Riddler."<p>

"Oh, Clarice, denial won't get you anyw-"

Reaper stood up so quickly she knocked over her chair and grabbed the clipboard from the doctor before beating said doctor over the head with it repeatedly.

"I. Am not. Involved. With. The Riddler!" She emphasized each word with a bash.

"Guards!" The doctor yelled.

Clarice had just earned herself a ticket to solitary.

* * *

><p>"Ugh! Careful, I'm still a little hungover!" Clarice snapped at the guard.<p>

"Shut up, inmate," the guard said.

"That you, Reaper?" Clarice's head snapped to the direction the voice came from.

"That you, kid?"

"I'm not a kid! And duh."

"The hell did you do to get in solitary?"

"I attempted to attack my doctor. You?"

"I bashed mine with a clipboard."

"Nice. What'd she do?"

"She thought I was having a romantic tryst with your boss."

"Ew!"

"And it's all your fault, kid."

"How is it my fault? If anything, this is your fault!"

"How?"

"You're the one that decided we needed to get drunk!"

"Hey, I never said drunk. I said buzzed. There's a difference."

"You came up with the idea to drink every time we saw a wanna-be."

"Now, you have no proof of that."

"What do you think Penguin would say if we called and asked?"

"Shut up."

* * *

><p>"Ready?" Riddler asked, fixing his tie. Jonathan groaned but pulled his mask over his head.<p>

"I don't understand why we can't let them rot for a few more days," he muttered.

"Because our punishment is going to be far worse for them than anything those morons at Arkham can think of," Riddler said. Scarecrow sighed.

"Fine. Let's go get them."

* * *

><p>"It's your fault, one-hundred percent!"<p>

"Oh, shut up, none of this was my idea!"

"Well, sorry if I didn't do anything to cause any of this, you insuffera-"

_**BOOM**_

Reaper and Switch groaned, holding their heads in their hands.

"What fucking idiot set off the bombs?" Clarice moaned.

"Why'd the fucking idiot set off the bombs?" Switch asked.

"If you're going to call us idiots, maybe we shouldn't let you out." Clarice and Switch looked up and went to their doors.

"Oh, Edward you have no fucking clue how happy I am to see you!" Clarice said. "Now where's Jonathan?"

"He's dealing with the guards. You're happy to see me, Reaper?"

"Just shut up and let us out, you pompous-"

"Be nice or I just might lose the key, Reaper," Riddler warned. Clarice sighed and hung her head before looking at him.

"Please, Riddler, let us out?"

"Well, since you begged so nicely."

* * *

><p>"Would this be an appropriate time to beg for my miserable hide?" Switch asked meekly as Riddler glared at her.<p>

"Yes," He snapped angrily.

Jonathan opened his mouth to talk but Clarice cut him off.

"If you value your life, Jonathan, you will shut up, you will let me sleep, and you will let me wear gloves whenever possible," She snapped.

"Why?"

"Because everyone thinks I'm involved with him," she said, jerking her thumb in Riddler's direction. "And I don't need people thinking I'm involved with Sir Pompous Ass over there!"

"What could have possibly possessed you to get a tattoo of a question mark?" Jonathan demanded, looking at the inside of her wrist.

"I don't know, I was drunk! I'm blaming all of my decisions on Switch and Edward!"

"How is it our fault?" Switch demanded.

"Yes, Clarice, how is it _my_ fault, dear?" Riddler asked.

"Oh, don't you dear, me, we are not together. And I'll think of some way to make it your fault!"

Riddler grabbed his cane and smacked her with it. Clarice held her head and glared at Riddler.

"You would be lucky to be with me, Clarice. In fact, you should be groveling for a date with me," He snapped.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes!"

"Well...you'd be a terrible boyfriend!"

"How?! I'm perfect!"

Switch and Reaper looked at each other for a moment before they burst out laughing.

"No! No you're not!"

"I bet you I could be the perfect boyfriend for you."

"No. Don't even go there," Switch warned, looking over at Reaper.

"I bet I could be the best boyfriend you have ever had."

"Switch? _**Switch**_, he's scaring me."

"And that's Scarecrow's job, so let's just quietly walk away from this conversation and **forget it ever existed**."

"I'm going to prove it to you," Riddler said. "Well, after the two of you are sufficiently punished for your embarrassing debacle."

"I hate my life," Switch groaned.

"I think I'm starting to hate mine, too," Reaper said.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Oh, God...what have I done?**_

_**Anyway...**_

_**SwordStitcher:**_

_**Fun? Not so much. I feel bad for both of them.**_


	6. Chapter 6

Clarice glared up at Jonathan while she scrubbed the bloodstained floors of his lab. "I hate you," she snapped. He rolled his eyes.

"You'll get over it. The floors better be cleaned by the time Edward gets here. We have to change our plans to break into the bank since two slack-jawed morons decided to get drunk and raise hell in Gotham," He snapped.

"Just keep your boyfriend away from me," Clarice said.

"Clarice, Edward and I are not involved. I am in no way interested in that pompous idiot."

"It was a joke, Jonathan. Besides, he seems far too involved in convincing me that he is 'the perfect boyfriend' than he is with turning you gay." Jonathan glared at her.

"You missed a spot."

"I hate you."

* * *

><p>"So, where'd you end up sending Switch, Riddler?" Clarice asked. He smirked and tried to take one of her hands in his. She glared at him and pulled her hands away.<p>

"Oh, she's just doing some errands for the Joker for the day."

Clarice could hear her heart stop and then thud away at a million miles an hour.

"Wh-what?"

"Well, that's what she gets for doing something so incredibly foolish," He remarked.

"Jonathan! Wasn't there a body you needed me to take care of?" Clarice yelled.

"Yes, wh-"

"Be right back!" Clarice grabbed the car keys and ran out of the house. She unlocked the trunk, opened it, and walked back into the house. She grabbed the tarp wrapped body and started to drag it outside.

She managed to get it into the trunk and was on the road within fifteen minutes.

"Why the fuck-" Clarice muttered to herself. _Didn't Edward know Joker wouldn't abide by the rules don't kill and don't maim? _"Of course, the fucking bastard knows. That's why he sent her to Joker."

After a little while, she finally pulled up to the parking lot of an abandoned factory. She grabbed her phone and called the number for Mannie and Zowie.

"What do you want, Reaper?" Zowie asked once the phone was answered.

"The number for Dead Switch."

"Why?"

"Give it to me and I might not gas you."

"Fine."

Once she got the number, she hung up on Zowie and dialed it.

"Who the hell is this?" The voice of Harley shocked Reaper.

"Um...is Switch there?" Reaper asked.

"Oh, yeah! Hold on a sec. Switchy! You got a phone call!" Harley said.

"Hello?" Switch asked.

"Kid, it's me. You think you can sneak out of there?"

"'Rice? What're you doing?"

"Look, I'm in the factory parking lot. Do you think you can get your ass out of here?"

"Uh...yeah, yeah! Give me a sec. Hey, Harley? You think I can take a break?"

"Huh? Why, Switchy?"

"Gotta pee."

"Oh! Yeah, sure, go ahead!"

"Kay." _Click!_

Clarice reached over and opened the passenger's door and waited.

_**BOOM!**_

"The fuck?" Clarice asked. A few seconds later, Switch came barreling out of the factory, followed by Harley, Bud and Lou, and some guys from Joker's gang. "Get in, get in, get in!" Clarice yelled, starting the car back up.

"I'm running as fast as I can, 'Rice!" Switch shouted. She managed to get close enough to dive into the car. "Adios motherf- Woah! Easy on the gas, Reaps!" She managed to close the door and took a deep breath in.

"Shut up, kid. Do you want to die at the hand of the crazy clowns?" She swerved onto the road. "Holy shit, people! Get outta the fucking road!" She yelled out of the car window, flipping off the pedestrians. "Can't you see I'm driving here?"

Switch reached up for the seat buckle and buckled in. She had a feeling she'd need it to survive Clarice's driving.

They swerved again.

Maybe next time Switch should drive.

* * *

><p>"Oh my God, no, Nine was the best!" He heard Clarice say.<p>

"Are you kidding me? Ten was incredible!"

"Nine was the best!"

"Ten!"

"Nine!"

"Ten!"

"Ni-"

"SHUT UP!" He roared, walking into the room. Clarice froze, along with Switch. When the hell had Switch gotten there? "What are you two arguing about?"

"Who the best Doctor is," Switch said as if it was obvious.

"Doctor?"

"You know, from Doctor Who," Clarice said. Jonathan rubbed his face.

"You two are acting ridiculous. Isn't Switch supposed to be at the Joker's, anyway?"

"She's supposed to be, sure. But she's here now. Since she's here can we keep her?"

"I don't think Edward would appreciate you 'keeping' his lackey. Why isn't she at the Joker's?"

"I kidnapped her?"

"More like saved me."

"Whatever, we're keeping her."

"We'll see about that," Jonathan muttered.

"What was that, Johnny?"

* * *

><p>"DEAD SWITCH!" Edward yelled, bursting into the living area. Clarice and Switch bolted up and glanced at each other. "What are you doing here?" He hissed angrily, waving his cane in her face.<p>

"Um...ask your girlfriend!" Switch stumbled over the words.

"What?" Both Edward and Clarice asked. Edward in surprise and confusion. Clarice in anger.

Clarice sighed and tilted her head back, as if saying 'Oh, God, why me?'

"I kidnapped Dead Switch. I hope it's okay with you...Edward," Clarice ground out, glaring at Switch. Switch just shrugged. Edward walked over to Clarice and smiled before taking her face in his purple-gloved hand. His grip was tight, as if he was purposefully trying to break her chin.

"Oh, Clarice. It's not okay with me," Clarice looked into his eyes and saw the sharp glint of something psychotic. Her eyes went wide and she glanced over at Switch. What the- She was almost happy she was working for Jonathan and not the Riddler. "That was really, _really_ unacceptable-"

"Don't break her, Edward," Jonathan snapped. Edward glared at Jonathan for a moment before shoving Clarice away with him.

Clarice rubbed her chin gingerly and glared at Edward.

"Hey, you okay?" Switch asked quietly.

"Shut up!" Edward yelled.

"Christ almighty," Clarice whispered.

Edward was working himself into a rage.

He grabbed Switch by the back of her jacket and started pulling her away.

"We're still on for next Thursday!" Switch said. She grimaced at her jacket being pulled into her neck. "Ow, Goddammit, I'm coming! I'm coming!"

"Bring some booze," Clarice called after her. Edward stopped pulling Switch and both of the men in the room turned to glare at her. "Or not?"

"Oh, come on, how much trouble can we get into here?" Switch asked.

Jonathan glared at Reaper. "You have no idea."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Alright, so...here's chapter six!**_

_**SwordStitcher:**_

_**I'd say Switch has it worse. I mean, having to deal with Joker and Harley? Aaa! I'd've run away from the Riddler as soon as he mentioned the idea. Hopefully you like this chapter as well!**_


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